We may be aware that there are many different sides in each of us. Sides that others may or may not see. Sides that are known or unknown even to ourselves.

But this is not the story about all our different sides. This is a story about how our different sides can be at odds with each other.

How they can despise each other.

Despise.

It’s a word that can prevail between Sadness and Anger.

That’s how it is for me. And maybe for someone else too. Therefore, we may be caught between the war of red and blue.

Sadness is my blue side. The side of me who wants me to be vulnerable. The side of me who fears the world. And who gravely, desperately wants and needs to be loved. Because when we look through the blue, we think that’s what everyone needs. Even we, who feel like it’s something we don’t deserve.

Sadness wants me to understand the blue color of mine. Because that way, in my moments of weakness, I can be kinder to myself again.

That’s what my Sadness thinks I need.

But Anger is my red side. The part of me that wants me to be strong. Who requires me to survive alone, because that’s what the strong ones do. And with whom I don’t want or need anyone or anything. Because when we look through the red, only the weak ones need another or anything.

Anger expects me to understand the red color of mine. For thus, with my red fierce and pride, my moments of weakness shall never touch me again.

That’s what my Anger thinks I need.

But Sadness doesn’t understand why Anger keeps poisoning me with mercilessness. And Anger doesn’t understand why Sadness keeps poisoning me with weakness.

That’s why they despise each other.

That is why there is an endless war inside me. Where Sadness weeps tears for Anger. Where Anger wants to burn Sadness to ashes.

Because these sides. And each side of us. Would do anything for our sake.

So that we could see through the color we need.

Are some of your sides in conflict with each other too?